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CREATOR OF FASHIONABLE GADGETS Apple has graced its fanbois with an update to its range of desktop computers and the release of a pointing device.

Earlier today the firm shuttered its online store to prepare for the update, which had been rumoured for some time. Many of the rumours dreamt up by over-eager fanbois were incorrect, however Apple did announce that its Imac range will feature Intel’s Core i3 processors. There is also a quad-core Core i5 model for those not happy about spending a grand on a desktop machine that has a chip intended for bargain basement tin boxes.

The overpriced Mac Pro, often the butt of Apple jokes, received major surgery with hexa-core Intel Xeon chips mated with an AMD Radeon HD 5770 graphics card as standard. Take a moment to realise that a £2,000 machine that is pitched as a workstation doesn’t even have a workstation graphics card, nor is the ‘consumer grade’ Radeon HD 5770 graphics card the top of AMD’s graphics card range.

Apple has saved that as an optional extra, with the Radeon HD 5870 available at added cost. Still, at least it’s an option. Nvidia Fermi based GTX 4XX graphics cards are nowhere to be found on the Mac Pros.

For those feeling particularly flush, Apple announced the availability of a 512GB solid state drive (SSD) with the option of specifying up to four in a single Mac Pro. The firm claims that the SSDs provide up to “Two times faster than the average performance of a standard disk drive.” That’s absolutely great, if you happen to have your own gold mine.

Finally, Apple released the Magic Trackpad, a stand-alone trackpad control device. Akin to a laptop’s trackpad, the device will bring multi-touch interaction to desktop users. Clearly the firm realised it could not milk any more money out of redesigning its minimalist single button mouse over and over again. The slab of metal allows the firm to peddle it’s own battery charger, which no doubt will be snapped up by eager fanbois who want the toymaker’s label on every single object they own.

Those thinking of buying Apple’s latest products might want to hold off for a little while, as its online store hasn’t been updated yet to reflect all of the changes in its product line. µ

FRESH FROM THE REVELATION this morning that people will buy Ipads, Isuppli has kept its focus on Apple and now tells us that the cappuccino company will need chips and things to go into those Ipads.

Apple, which already has a tendency to leapfrog competitors like a showboating amphibian, will overtake Samsung as a consumer of chips, Isuppli explained, as the fruit themed gadget flogger continues order shedloads of its shiny offspring, the Ipad and Iphone, from Chinese suppliers.

HP is in top place in terms of semiconductor consumption, presumably because like holidaying Brits it takes chips with everything, but Apple takes third, for now.

Isuppli, which seems to be on the verge of declaring that the Ipad is bigger than the Jesus, added that Apple could sneak up on the pack leader by 2012 and usurp first place.

As more and more people line up to buy Ipads and Iphones this year, Apple will hurl some of its cash – approximately million – at semiconductor firms this year alone, at least according to spreadsheets created in Isuppli’s El Segundo offices.

“Leadership in semiconductor spending represents a position of prestige,” said Min-Sun Moon, senior analyst for semiconductor spend and design at Isuppli and coiner of the term ‘innovativeness’.

“An advancement in the rankings means that a company has been successful in introducing new products and that it is allocating more dollars in research and development-two factors that, incidentally, feed innovativeness as well.”

Adding more height to Apple’s pedestal, she sad that its products have ‘captured the public’s imagination’, leading to sales ‘unequaled by rival devices’.

If Jesus is planning a Second Coming he might want to give it a couple of years, as Moon added that Apple’s products are likely to lure adoring buyers like some shiny Pied Piper for years to come.

Apple is not alone in increasing its semiconductor spend. Isuppli predicted that other companies including Lenovo, Sandisk, Cisco, Acer and RIM will boost chip spending by between 37 and 50 per cent. µ

TOYMAKER FOR THE WELL HEELED Apple is on the lookout for an Iphone antenna engineer.

A post for the position of “Antenna Engineer-iPhone” went up on Apple’s website yesterday to supplement similar ones from a week ago. Apparently Apple thinks it needs to hire someone who has an engineering background in order to come up with antenna designs, presumably after its prior efforts have proven to be somewhat less than bang on the money.

Apple’s synopsis of the applicant’s responsibilities are to “Define and implement antenna system architecture to optimize the radiation performance for wireless portable devices.” So, its current band of journeymen must be all out of answers after their wrap-around coat hanger stunt on the Iphone 4 backfired so miserably.

Why Apple thought it was necessary to publicly advertise the position is all the more surprising after a leaked memo suggested that its finest produced a design worthy of some award.

The leaked document, guidance for customer care staff, was drawn up for the firm to weasel out of responsibility for its shoddy design, saying, “The iPhone 4′s wireless performance is the best we have ever shipped.” Well, at least Apple is indirectly taking the rap for the cellular and WiFi reception issues of previous models.

The document continues by ordering Apple’s customer service representatives to “Not perform warranty service. Use the positioning above for any customer questions or concerns.” The document also suggests that “tone when delivering this information is important.” Indeed, sounding authoritative can go a long ways towards convincing customers that they don’t really have a problem, or if they do it must be their fault and certainly nothing to do with the company.

Finally those believing that using one of Apple’s sleeves will be just the job won’t have any luck getting the firm to supply one. The document goes on to say, “We [Apple] are not appeasing customers with free bumpers”, and why should it? After getting fanbois to fork over small fortunes, why should the firm stop at the chance to extract a further £25 out of its well-to-do, dependent users?

One assumes a company designing mobile phones employs antenna engineers, so the question is why is it advertising for applicants? Will these new recruits supplement the current team of wunderkinds or be replacements for those who are presumably sleeping with the fishes by now? Of course Apple won’t disclose this, but fanbois can rest assured that their next Iphone purchase might just have an antenna worthy of picking up a signal.

For Apple the Iphone 4, despite its impressive sales figures is turning out to be a nightmare. Ever since its launch last week almost a day hasn’t passed without another report of faults with Apple’s latest, expensive high-end smartphone.

Thanks to delays, the latest shipments of fruit logo’d disasters are yet to slip into the hands of gullible buyers. After hearing of the glut of problems, the waiting fanbois must be eager to see what’s broken on their shiny toys. µ